Grow, Bean

Circle shoulders
Eyes closed
Inhale infiltrates nose, head, lungs, blood
Fluid form
This body, my home
Height at apex
Mind grows
Eyes expand
Mouth more mute
I have met peace;
I meet you with love


LSD – 5:05 AM – 07.02.17

Here I Am.

Ambient, psychedelic trance bubbles, pokes, taps, glides my auditory canals; soothes, harmonizes, enchants, strings.
Hear it caressing my mind. Toes curl and stretch wide.
Air in motion: by music, by rotating fan.

I write while on my tummy. Chin resting on left knuckle. Knees bent, feet crossed at ankle…
Cameron, to my left. We are on our air mattress. He dozes, lays supine, legs wide, chest steadily rises then exhales. That breath, so urgent, vital. The blood in his veins, muscles; may it be well. His lungs, his health.
He rests after a sacred union of souls, of lovers.
I would not want for Cameron to be out of my life.

x x x

Next Morning
Writing of the love felt for Cam, I embarked upon descent to dreamland by curling into him, arm and leg around; nose near scrumptious, spicy body odor. Eyes closed, psychedelic visions danced and spun with the music. Too good to interrupt.


A spirit of many lives
A soul who has seen seasons
Of souring ambition and unrealistic idealism
She’ll interact with the entire world
She’ll stress to surpass physical limitation
Logic, rules, time, space, matter
Stretched as squeezed
Physics defied
By the woman who travels through the air.

Mind to Paper

Change suspected;
Apocalyptic resurrected.
The satisfied full, subtly redirected
Bursts beyond the bubble.
This ambitious mind finds ease amidst
-Feels peace at discomfort.

Have you ever noticed the dis-ease
That’s brought about
When all seems suspiciously too sublime,
Too well.

[12.31.15; driving from Atlanta, GA to Eureka, CA]

Cross Country Drive Thoughts

There is no changing
There is no rearranging
Of the soul’s purpose,
Her Wanderlust,
Her need, Her desire, Her urge
To meet that goal of
Shining, shimmering, spinning in the sun with a smile
The sense of peace.

Rid oneself, fling off that cloak of unease
Which the world dresses us in,
Clads upon us.
Explore this culture, explore the world
Remind your heart, your soul, your existential being,
Your bravery.

There is more than what you know,
There is far beyond what you do,
There are methods you would not think of because you are here.
Go, find them.
Let the world show you how to live.
You may be familiar with the abstract;
You don’t truly understand until you directly interact.

My mind mauls itself.
My mind, the masochist:
Self-punisher, if pleasure is not discovered.
If this is not right, I will evade, I will escape, I will find what I need.
The caring, creative, conscious creature
Silently shapes stone silhouettes
A silent suggestion, a whisper, a phantom:
Down the ear,
Straight to the mind.

Maybe the world isn’t so bad after all.
Horripilate the humans.
Scare them with the thought, the suspicion
This world has good in it.

Hey, little ant,
Hey, grasshopper.
You’ve your own Epic to live.
Wisdom is admitting stupidity.
Broad vision is gained via admitted blindness.
You’ve known Id; now surpass Ego.
Embrace the flow that is above you.
Do not be so foolish to think that you truly know a damn fucking thing.
Ignore the Id.
I am my only idol.


Driving Cross Country from ATL to NoCal 

Voice memo transcribed to written word 

Thoughts Driving Cross Country

Mind meanders, sways,
Never strays from the immediate.
From microcosm to a paradigm reaction:
the macrocosm’s greater understood.
Man’s meretricious evolution:
A shame my species is pollution.
I strive to positively impact.
Humanity has also inspired
Magnificent revolution.

Interact with the world,
with your nature,
with your Mother,
with your Gods,
with all the things you’ve heard of yet have not seen nor confirmed, yourself.
Grace Her,
Let Her remind you of vastness;
Her might, Her splendor.
All of the memories, the history, everything She has been,
Why She still exists,
Why people hang on,
Why a small, dying town still stands.

Think of your place on the World map,
Think of your space in relation to your little egotistical brain,
Your little egotistical perspective.
Remind yourself that you are small.
Remind yourself that this life, this world,
Is bigger than anything you could dream up on your own.

There is a reaction from the eyes,
From the sight,
to the mind:
When one’s eyes scan beyond the horizon
Into the mist,
Over the curvature;
When there is no interruption to the flow,
the natural beauty: symmetry, geometry, synergy of the world.
From the tiniest cell to the largest mountain,
the building blocks are identical.
Pervading rules apply.
No matter the size of the number:
the equation is the same.

12.31.15 Driving from ATL to NoCal